Top Ten Reasons I Despise My New POS (HP) Laptop Computer

10. If the POS is plugged in and not running on the battery then the screen is nice and bright; however, if it's running on battery then the screen is dim; much like my brain for buying an HP product.

9. I can hear static coming out of the speaker when I should be hearing nothing except maybe the voices in my head telling me what a dumb ass I am for buying an HP product.

8. A cement block weighs LESS than this POS.

7. Whatever is on the screen (usually Facebook) jumps up and down randomly, and that makes me crazier than I already am for buying this POS.

6. The zoom (in/out) feature works all by itself. I'll be typing away and the next thing you know the text is at 150% or just 50%.

5. The cursor also works all by itself just jumping around all over the screen; making it impossible to type a simple sentence at times.

4. The scroll bar on the right-hand side of the screen disappears; this forces me to move the cursor around in circles, much like chasing my own tail, to make the scroll bar reappear.

3. To right or left click on the POS requires the strength of three grown men. I swear I've permanently sprained my index finger for having to push down so hard.

2. I no longer enjoy watching Netflix because the picture is so fuzzy. I can't tell the difference between Crazy Eyes and Morello on Orange is the New Black. Of course, as soon as Morello opens her mouth I know exactly who I'm watching.

1. To get technical support, I call the 1-800 number and a robot voice instructs me to get help online. I go online and I'm told to call the 1-800 number. Yes, I'm serious.

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