Carol's Cookies

March 13, 2016

 

 

I'm so incredibly stressed out right now. Due to my glamorous lifestlye, I've not been able to watch the last two episodes of The Walking Dead, and it's making my acid reflux go crazy. Ima eat some Tums, and then get down to bidness with episode 11 entitled Knots Untie.

 

Rick and Michonne ARE A THING. YES!!!!!! It's been so long since I've watched this that I almost forgot about Richonne. Looks like Sasha doesn't want to go on patrol with The Ginger any longer. I wonder why. Well, he ain't too broken up about it because now he's lovin' up on Rosita. BUT, he's still thinkin' 'bout Sasha. I can't understand a damn thing Maggie says. I think she's talking 'bout food. Jesus has pretty eyes. Carl only has one eye, and he has figured out that his daddy is with Michonne. Daryl still needs a shower and a haircut. Jesus sounds a lot like a politician, but he looks like the lead singer of a band. It could be jesus and the Pussycats.

 

Jesus has persuaded our gang to go back to his settlement to check things out. I don't know if this is such a good idea. I wonder if Carol is still even on this show. They never show her, and she's my favorite. AAAAHHHHH, Richonne are holding hands. Swoon.

 

Our gang rescues some strangers from an office building.  Now they are all driving down the road together in the RV; just like one, big, happy family. OOPS, the RV is stuck in mud right in front of "The Hilltop" which is apparently the name of Jesus's settlement. His town ain't as swanky as Alexandria. They just met Gregory who calls himself "The Boss." He looks like a high school principal, and he's insisting that our gang take a shower. Gregory is giving me the major creeps. Gregory is an A-HOLE. 

 

Gregory just got knifed in the gut. Errybody is fightin'. Jesus is tryin' to keep the peace. Maybe he'll turn water into wine next. Gregory is gonna be okay. Jesus is telling our gang about Neegan and The Saviors who are basically runnin' game on errybody. Our gang has agreed to take out Neegan and The Saviors for half of all the goodies the people at "The Hilltop" have managed to acquire.

 

Okay, time for episode 12 entitled Not Tomorrow Yet, and there damn sure better be some Carol in this episode. YASSS, it's Carol in the very first scene. It's about damn time. Cookies, YASSS. Errybody loves Carol's Cookies. She's the perfect cross between  Aunt Bee from Mayberry and a bas ass bitch.  She Just gave plaid shirt guy some cookies, and he's makin' mad eye contact with her. I don't know how I feel about this. I've shipped her with Daryl, soooo ...

Here comes the rickety ass RV. Why can't they find a better RV? Rick just informed Carol that they're going to have to fight. She's such a BAMF; she's up for it, but there's dark clouds overhead and ominus music. I swear to God, if Carol dies, I will seriously cut a bitch. Oh holy hell, there's Morgan and his stupid stick. Why is he carrying that dumb stick? Carol ain't sufferin' no fools; she just told Morgan to go. He gets on my absolute last nerve.

 

Oh my, Rick looks just like a haggard Jesus standing in front of the stained glass window talking to all the members of the community about having to fight. Morgan is making the case for talking to The Saviors. Who in their right damn mind would listen to Morgan???? Rick wants to kill all The Saviors, and he basically told Morgan to deal with it and accept it. Carol can't sleep. She's making a list of some sort. It looks like a list of people, not walkers, she has killed. Carol and plaid shirt guy are sharing a smoke on his front porch. She kissed him, and it was so not wow for me. The Ginger is leaving Rosita. She is not happy about it. 

 

Someone needs to teach Carol how to take a proper drag on a cigarette. Errybody is doing a little soul searching about having to kill people instead of just walkers. Rick ain't doin' no soul searching. He's good to go.

 

Oh my God; I love this stealth shit. Lots of killin' goin' on.  The Ginger just got knifed in the arm. Lots of shootin' and runnin' and whatnot. Our gang is now inside The Saviors compound. They found a better RV. Morgan is up to something, and I can guarantee you it ain't gonna be good. Damn, The Saviors took Carol and Maggie.

 

This episode was INTENSE, and I still have to watch 5 episodes of Fear the Walking Dead, 5 episodes of The Knick, 4 episodes of Homeland, 2 episodes of Masters of Sex, 6 episodes of Better Call Saul, 2 episodes of Broad City, 1 episode of Project Runway, and 1 episode of The People's Couch before I'm all caught up. 

 

Oh Mylanta, I'm gonna need some more Tums.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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