by Dana Starr
December 2015
AWKWARD!!! Look who showed up late this afternoon. Yep, Barbie's bestie from high school, and he's a little down on his luck. He wants to spend the holidays with Ken and Barbie, and Ken ain't really havin' it, but since Ken doesn't pay much of the rent, it looks like Creepy Elf will be sleepin' on Barbie's couch for a few weeks. Barbie lost her dream house back in the real estate crash of '08. Currently, she's between jobs. She has done a little of everything; flight attendant, doctor, astronaut, aerobics instructor, news anchor, and street rapper (which was her favorite "job"). They are all smiles enjoying a cold beverage in this picture, but, believe me, tension was thick in the air when Ken walked in the apartment after his 10 hour shift making Slurpees at 7-11. Fasten your seat belts; this could be a bumpy ride.
Trouble waitin' to happen!!! Around noon today, Barbie and Creepy Elf loaded up the Yeti with bologna sandwiches and Mt. Dew and headed on out to the country to find the perfect "free" Christmas tree. Creepy Elf really shouldn't have access to a chainsaw, but what are ya gonna do?? Plus, Barbie only owns one shoe AND the both of them were more than a little hungover; however, they got R dun. The weather was perfect for Christmas tree huntin' and if Ken ever makes it home, he's gonna be so surprised that the decoratin' is done. Ken should've been home from his shift at 7-11 a couple of hours ago. I strongly suspect he's at the local watering hole because he's not thrilled with the idea of Creepy Elf crashing on the couch 'til Christmas. Say that ten times real fast. BAHAHAHAHA. Anyhoo, after all the physical activity today, Barbie and Creepy Elf have decided to have a spa day tomorrow. That should be fun.
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AAAHHH Spa Day!!!! Yesterday was a very trying day what with decoratin' and all, so today was just a relaxing day for Barbie and Creepy Elf. Ken called in sick, and spent the day in bed with a horrible hangover, which serves him right for not calling or coming home when he should have. Barbie decided to take the rubber band out of her hair after thirty some odd years, and she said it felt terrific. Now, she's having a much needed hot oil treatment for her hair, and Creepy Elf is giving her a pedicure, which is not so easy to do when you don't have thumbs. Tomorrow they plan to do some holiday baking. The fun just never ends.
BIG BALLIN'!!!! Creepy Elf and Barbie spent the morning making the traditional Christmas sausage balls to take to Girl's Weekend in the glorious mountains of Ruidoso, New Mexico. Ken, once again, is unable to attend because someone has to earn a livin'. Unfortunately, the balls turned out rather dry; however, tomorrow morning they will be ingested with gusto. Thankfully, there will be Bloody Marys to wash down the dry balls. Creepy Elf is not a girl; however, he's allowed to attend Girl's Weekend for various unresolved reasons. Barbie is not touching the balls, in the picture, because she didn't want to get her pantsuit dirty. Happy Friday, y'all.
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Barbie is glistening with the steam from the hot tub. She and Creepy Elf shopped all day in downtown Ruidoso. Is it bad to mix Riesling, Limoncello and Bloody Mary? I guess we'll find out in the morning. Tomorrow, they're doing the zip line. Woo-Hoo!!!!
Too pooped to post! Creepy Elf and Barbie were just too pooped to post last night. They drove home from Ruidoso on Sunday, but not before visiting Barbie's favorite soap shop, All Lathered Up. Oh, the smell inside that shop is just divine. There's tons of scents to choose from, everything from baby's butt to monkey farts to wet gravel and it's all gooood. Barbie's favorite is dreamsicle. Don't tell Ken, but she purchased a year's worth!!!!! A gal just can't have too much soap, even if she only owns one shoe. After all, cleanliness is next to Godliness.
