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  • Writer's pictureDana Starr

Star Wars: The Hormones Awaken

The evening, and my future, stretched out in front of me, full of promise, mischief, a bottle of TJ Swan, and maybe a cigarette or two. It's fall of 1977, and I'm standing on the Seminole High School football field cheering on the mighty Seminole Indians. No, I wasn't a cheerleader. I wasn't cheerleader material; however, I was a flag girl in the band (yep, I was a band geek) and that meant that I would be on the field with my fellow flag girls doing our thang with our flags as our team ran onto the field. I was resplendent in a very short, black and white ensemble with shiny, white go-go boots, and matching white beanie perched on top of my perfectly feathered hair. Seventeen-years-old and dumb as a box of rocks. Thank God I was so dumb that I didn't know how dumb I truly was. Actually, at the time, I thought I knew everything about everything just like every teenager on the planet down through the history of time.

The anticipation is palpable. It's game time, and the team is ready to take the field, but not before the band plays the iconic theme from the Star Wars movie; although, the music wasn't iconic in 1977, it was just new and glorious. The opening strains fill the air; my flag is flapping in the brisk, autumn wind; the crowd is cheering; the boys are running under the goal post and onto the grass (real grass), and quite simply you couldn't ask for a better way to spend a Friday night. Of course, that was just the begining of the night; there was also a middle (spent in the Youth Center parking lot) and an end (spent parked next to a pumpjack in the middle of nowhere necking with the fellow I met in the parking lot; hey, don't judge, even band geeks get lucky every now and then).

The thing is: 38 years later, I don't remember if the Indians won the Friday night game, and I don't remember the name of the fellow I swapped spit with in the middle of nowhere; however, I vividly remember every note of that music. The Star Wars soundtrack is the soundtrack of my youth. Maybe that's why, when I heard it again tonight, my eyes instantly misted over. Yep, there I was ... a 55-year-old woman with gray hair, a huge tub of popcorn in my lap, and two pairs of glasses on my face; my regular ol' everyday bifocals and a ridiculous pair of 3D glasses perched in front of my real glasses. The instant the first strains of the music started, and the bold letters started crawling up the screen, I started bawling my eyes out.

I damn sure didn't expect that to happen. I expected to be irritated by the people in front of me, at the concession stand, who took 25 minutes to decide what they wanted to order. I expected to be irritated at paying eleventy hundred dollars for cold, stale popcorn. I expected to be irritated at the idiots who texted and/or talked throughout the movie. I did NOT expect to start crying. It might just be an hormonal thing (not that I have that many of those pesky things left), or it might be that the music is just that awesome; it's probably a combination of both.

Here's my obligatory Top Ten List of Observations made during Star Wars: The Force Awakens

10. Kylo Ren is a very cool character name.

9. Throughout the movie, Kylo Ren wears a bitchin' black pantsuit (complete with matching black belt, and matching black hoodie) which was really very flattering and slimming. If I could find it at JCPenney; I would buy it.

8. Fake snow looks fake.

7. Daisy Ridley, who plays Rey, gives off a strong Keira Knightley vibe complete with that whole lockjaw thing where they don't really open and/or move their mouths when they speak. It's almost as if the bottom half of Rey's lovely face is frozen.

6. The subtle humor was good and appreciated.

5. Harrison Ford should really stop getting eight dollar haircuts at Pro-Cuts.

4. Team Luke or Team Han??? I'm still undecided 38 years later.

3. The cinematography, special effects, AND MOST ESPECIALLY THE MUSIC still outshines the basic good vs. evil story, dialogue and acting; however, it's STILL great and I'll never stop being a fangirl.

2. Carrie Fisher looks like a 59-year-old woman is supposed to look, and that's pretty freaking fantastic, so lets please stop all the snarky comments, please.

1. Everything old is new again.

May the Force, and the hormones, be with you.

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