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  • Writer's pictureDana Starr

Where the Hell is Carol?

I'm so mad at myself. I sorta kinda spoiled myself today; so dumb. I purposely never watch TWD on Sunday night, so I know there's always a chance I'm gonna see/hear something that I don't want to see/hear before I view the show. Anyhoo, scrolling through Facebook earlier I saw a picture that immediately caught my eye because it's a picture I've seen in my head over and over and over and over. What do I do???? Immediately look away; NO, I stare at it until it's burned into my brain even more. It was a picture of Rick and Michonne and they looked like the cutest couple EVER, and this is something that I've been thinking for a long time, so is it going to come true??? Was the picture a ruse??? Let's find out.

Lil Ass Kicker is so cute and she's growing. Errybody is out of toothpaste. Looks like Rick and Daryl are going on a supply run. Hopefully, Daryl can find some scissors to give himself a little trim. He's lookin' more than a little haggard. Why are they taking a Chrysler 300 on a supply run? Wouldn't a truck and/or van be more appropriate? Daryl doesn't care for Rick's choice of music.

I wish I had muscle definition in my arms like Michonne. She probably doesn't eat ice cream for dinner. What do they eat? They are running low on food and toothpaste. Oh snap, Rick and Daryl found a whole truck o stuff. Now, they're stopping at a convenience store/gas station. While they are dicking around with a soda machine a stranger appears outta nowhere.

They have a polite conversation with the stranger who calls himself Jesus, but Jesus doesn't stick around. Jesus steals the keys to the truck o stuff and takes off. Coral (that's how Rick pronounces Carl's name) is up and around, with a patch over his missing? eye, and he's roaming in the woods with JSS girl; I think her name is Enid. They find a note, but they can't read it because it was wet. What is the fascination with the woods? Woods are horrible. There's poison ivy in the woods and bugs in the woods and dirt in the woods and undead in the woods.

Coral is prettier than Enid. They aren't the only ones in the woods. They see Michonne and Spencer (Deanna's son) but nothing happens. This is boring. Finally, something is happening. Coral and Enid see a walker. Coral doesn't want to kill it. I don't understand what's goin' on. Rick and Daryl catch up to the truck o stuff. They're fighting Jesus. And now, they are talking to Jesus. Jesus, I'm bored. They leave Jesus tied up in the middle of the road, and take the truck.

The lack of action and the lack of Carol (not Coral) scenes annoys. How did Jesus get on the roof of the truck o stuff? He was tied up in the middle of the road when we went to commercial. Now he's running around in a field being chased by the Keystone Kops (Rick and Daryl). During all the dicking around, they lose the truck o stuff in the lake. They decide to stick Jesus up in a tree. Deanna is now a walker, and she's wandering around in the woods. Her son has to kill her. That's what he was doing out in the woods: looking for his undead mama so he could kill her.

Rick decided to take Jesus back to Alexandria. AWWW, Coral just told Michonne that he would kill her if she ever turns into a walker, and Michonne told him that she would do it for him, and they hugged. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. Rick and Michonne are kissin' on the couch. I knew it. I freaking knew it. They haven't brushed their teeth cause they ain't got no toothpaste, but who cares because THEY KISSED AND NOW RICHONNE IS A THING.

That freaking Jesus dood was passed out and tied up, but somehow he got loose in the middle of the night, and he wakes Rick and Michonne who fell asleep nekkid as the day they were born. Jesus is pissin' me off. And another thing that's pissin' me off is the severe lack of Carol.

All in all, despite Richonne, I have to say this episode was boring and this blog post is boring and I'm sorry, but RICHONNE IS A THING, ya'll.

Now, go brush your teeth AND DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS.

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