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  • Writer's pictureDana Starr

Every Day Should be Chocolate Milk Day

TWD will not be on fo​r another three hours, but I feel a strong need to get a few things off my ample chest right now. First of all ... CAROL. I mean seriously, who knew???? The woman can bake cookies better than Mrs. Fields. She rocks short hair. She has a unique relationship with the mysterious and OH-SO-SEXY Daryl which simply defies explanation. She is the mama figure for Lil Ass Kicker. She intuitevly understands any situation and just deals with it, with absolutely NO drama or self-doubt. Obviously, you know what all this means. It means that Carol is not long for this world. I just know it, as sure as I know that I badly need to stop smoking and cut down my daily salt and Riesling intake. I will say no more on this subject BUT know this ... I WILL BE CRUSHED WHEN IT HAPPENS. My soul/spirit will literally be crushed, and I'll probably up my daily Riesling intake.

Okay, lets move on to Morgan. What the holy hell is wrong with Morgan??? All his yappin' is really starting to get on my nerves. STOP talkin' 'bout NOT killing and just start killing for God's sake. How has he managed to stay alive this damn long??? Hell, I'd kill him just for being so damned obnoxious. AND as if that weren't enough, he accused Michonne of stealing his peanut butter protein bars. Who does that? Michonne can have ALL the peanut butter protein bars as far as I'm concerned. You know things is bad in the world when peanut butter protein bars is all you have to look forward to. That reminds me of when I was a kid, and I always looked forward to Wednesdays because Wednesdays was the day we got to have chocolate milk in the cafeteria instead of plain milk. I could never understand why every day couldn't be chocolate milk day. I still don't understand. The ULTIMATE day came when we had chocolate milk AND sloppy joes AND tater tots. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. My salt intake was extremely high that day what with the tater tots and all.

Also, what's up with Father Gabriel? Is he a priest? Is he a preacher? Is he catholic or protestant or what???? One thing is for sure, he is a douchebag of the highest caliber which means he will probably live forever because life is just weird like that. All I know is, he needs to get busy and make himself useful. He needs a real job, not just preachin'. No offense to any preachers/priests who may happen to read this. I'm just sayin' errybody gotta pull their weight.

And another thing, I'm really starting to love Eugene AKA Mullet Guy. I can't wait to see him have sex for the first time with a person and not just his hand. Well, I don't actually want to see him have sex, but you know what I mean. I think he'd be great with the new doctor, Denise.

Lastly, we need more Daryl. MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH more Daryl. Did you realize last week there was NO Daryl? That is simply not acceptable. Also, Daryl really needs a haircut, but mostly he just needs more screen time. And oh yeah, he needs to kiss Carol. Well, the jury is still out on that. I can't decide if I want them to be lovers or just best friends. Ideally, they would be both.

Okay, it's finally time for the show and here we go. I hope Daryl doesn't run out of gas because that would be bad. I'm sick to death of people from "the community" bitching about stuff they don't know about. Why the hell are they just standing around? I'd be running like the wind.

There's a whole lot of chit-chat goin' on and it's annoying me. They need a little silent time. Idiots were told not to shoot and what do they do???? They shoot. Dude with the goofy hat is a doofus. If you're that damn dumb, you don't deserve to live.

Where the hell is Daryl goin'?

Michonne is making conversation with a dead man walking, and she knows it. They found an abandoned town. Damn, this ain't lookin' good. Michonne, Glen and a handful of community members are having to hide in a pet store with "the herd" descending. Glen wants to start a fire to keep "the herd" from the community. He's bound and determined to be a hero and ya just know it ain't gonna end well.

Rick is runnin' down the side of the road. He sees walkers. I think he hurt his left hand. I need to kiss it and make it better. Did Glen just call Rick a dumbass? I think he did. BAHAHAHAHA.

Michonne and cool hair guy are having a moment. Do I detect some sexual tension? It's hard to say. This isn't really the time or place for sexual tension if ya know what I mean. There's a lot goin' on in this episode. I'm havin' a hard time keeping up. "The herd" is upon the people in the pet store. Say that real fast 10 times.

Oh, damn. Cute girl with braid and a busted leg is a goner. Gazillions of walkers are coming and there is no place to run. NO NO NO NO Michonne is trapped. Glen is a goner too. Thank god, Michonne made it. For now. This is making my stomach hurt. I don't know if I can type these words, but Glen is dead. FOR REAL. This scene is going on and on and on. I literally cannot look at this.

Rick is trying to reach Glen on the walkie-talkie. Ain't happening and we know why. Here comes Daryl. I'm not entirely sure what's happening, but my nerves can't take much more of this. What The Holy Hell? Rick is being attacked and NOT by walkers. Rick kills two men, probably "wolves." Daryl is turning around from wherever he was goin'. Rick just mows down more "wolves" with an automatic weapon.

Rick is trapped in an RV that won't start and the walkers are upon him.

Much like myself on chocolate milk/sloppy joe/tater tot day, Glen has died and gone to heaven and I'm freaking exhausted.

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