top of page
Search
Writer's pictureDana Starr

I Need Some Christmas Walkers


Oh my GAWD ... every single bone in my flabby 55-year-old body hurts. I actually got off my duff today and decorated the house for Christmas. Of course, after I pulled all the Christmas crap out of the closet, it occurred to me that I prolly should've cleaned first. Oh well, too late now. Anyhoo, the whole time I was decorating, I was thinking about what would happen to all my Christmas crap if we have a for real zombie apocalypse, which I'm sure we will at some point in my lifetime. If it ever happens, I guess decorating for Christmas will not be a priority. Of course, cleaning won't be much of a priority either, so that's one in the plus column as far as I'm concerned.

Okay, here we go. Looks like Cookie Boy is still not willing to go downstairs. He just set a dirty plate at the top of the stairs and went back into his room to listen to Tiny Tim sing Tiptoe Through the Tulips (WEIRD). Now he is coloring. I miss coloring. I was good at it. Yuck, Cookie Boy left a half-eaten cookie on a plate in his room and ants are all over it. He's not too old for a good old-fashioned ass whoopin' as far as I'm concerned.

All hell is breaking loose as the top of the church falls down and opens up part of the wall. Here come the walkers. And, there's tons of 'em. Morgan helps Carol get in a house. Rick helps Deanna, but not before she falls and cuts her leg. Maggie barely escapes on a ladder, and she is wearing some fierce boots. Eugene is out in the open, but he escapes with Tara (I never know how to spell Tara, last week I spelled it Terrah) and Rosita (I think that's her name; I'm horrible with names). Blonde Lady helps Carl, Michonne, Rick, Deanna (Politician Lady), Priest Dude, and Teenage Boy escape, so I guess she's more than just a pretty face.

Glenn and Jillian (AKA Enid) are fussing at each other, once again (yawn). Cookie Boy is being weird, and still needs an ass whoopin'. Carol hurt her forehead. She, Morgan and The Stick are safe for now, but she may have a concussion. The doctor and the dood with the W on his forehead are trapped together. He's badly injured, and he's also lying through his dirty teeth. The doctor is in danger being trapped with him. Michonne is helping Deanna and discovers what looks like a bite. Deanna's a goner.

Michonne and Deanna are having a heart to heart. Carl and the other teenage boy are talking in the garage. Now they are fighting. Teenage boy breaks some glass and attracts the walkers. This ain't good. Carl gets the gun away from teenage boy and tells him that his dad was an asshole. WORD.

Oh snap, Rick almost killed Deanna because he thought she had turned into a walker and was eating Lil Ass Kicker. She hasn't turned (yet) and Lil All Kicker is fine (for now). Deanna is telling Rick that he is going to have to look out for ALL the people not just his people. Wow, lots and lots goin' on. I can't keep up and I'm tired from all the decorating today. Carol tricks Morgan and ends up in the room with the doctor and the W dood; Morgan enters the room and has words with Carol. Morgan has been on my last nerve for some time now. Carol is holding a knife on Morgan and he's muttering something ignorant that I can't really hear and definitely don't give a crap about.

Rick has a plan. He's carrying a "dead" walker (I know, that's redundant) up the stairs. The people with Rick are gonna have to cover themselves in walker guts to get out of the house. Carol and Morgan are arguing. I swear if Morgan hurts Carol I'm not going to be responsible for my actions. I'm just sayin'. He just hurt her. Dammit. She's down, and the W dood is up with Morgan's stick. W dood knocks Morgan out with his own stick. Morgan is a colossal dumbass. Now W dood has a knife. Eugene, Tara, and Rosita enter the room with W dood and the doctor. They are completely ineffective at stopping the W dood. He takes their weapons and leaves with the doctor.

Well, it's over, and we'll have to wait months to see what happens. Rick and the gang, covered in walker guts, are out of the house and walking amongst the walkers. Cookie Boy is whining for his mommy (Blonde Lady) and would sooo get an ass whoopin' if he was my kid. Glenn and Jillian have climbed a tree in an effort to see what's happening, and they can see Maggie is still alive on top of the wall with tons of walkers under her.

I'm flat out exhausted, and I still have to finish putting up my little Christmas village. I sure wish I had some walkers to put in my little village. Wouldn't that be cool??? I wonder if I can buy some at Target???

7 views0 comments
bottom of page